Absinthe Of The Mind - A Story Of The Green Fairy

The age-old myth that the illusive alcohol known as Absinthe acts as a liquid hallucinogen is as far from truth as saying Michael Phelps can fly. While Phelps ears may have the wingspan of a jumbo jet, Absinthe will get you smoshed, smashed and smitten—but not high. Let me take you back in time, and fill you in on a little truth that I myself learned when traveling through Europe. 

In the US, it is nearly impossible to get ones hands on the real green fairy. Not only was it once illegal to sell, buy or even think of the stuff, there has been countless impostor since day one. Why? Because Mr. Government thinks he knows best. 

A long time ago in a redneck shanty far far away, a couple of hicks decided it would be a good idea to make their own Absinthe. Not knowing what the hell they did, they stole heaven and gave us hell instead. Absinthe is made from wormwood, which is…well a plant of many purposes. It can be used as therapeutically, medically and alcohol-ically.

The problem in using it for drinking purposes is that when not properly filtered and cleaned, the plant contains a rediculous amount of foreign chemicals, including ethanol (60-85%). The ethanol explains the pain killing and euphoric symptoms as well as some of the psychoactive side effects. 

When made properly, Absinthe will get you frunk as duck, happy as a hooligan and fancy as a…ummm…dude whose totally drunk. But it’s not gonna make you high. If you can, head to BevMo or Wine.com and get a bottle, try it for yourself, and drink happy.